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| KARL HOFER GIRL WITH AMARYLLIS, 1936 |
I replied, “What sexism?”
She thought I was kidding, but I was totally serious. I'm with Flannery O'Connor (I've been fixated on two subjects lately, I know, Flannery O and death camps) who said, "On the subject of this feminist business, I just never...think of qualities which are specifically feminine or masculine. I suppose I [divide] people into two classes: the Irksome and the Non-Irksome without regard to sex."
Also I am just so not the person to come to to complain about the Church (which is amazing as I will complain about just about everything else). That's not to say I don't see the Church's failings but it is to say I have never viewed its treatment of women as one of them, particularly. I had lived by my own lights for way too long to see the Church, when I finally washed up on her shores, as anything other than a sanctuary, the Way, the Truth, the Life, my Mother. I don't see and if I do see don't much care about her faults. I see that she formed the saints. I respond to the Church through the hearts that have been formed by it.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux observed: “I have found my vocation at last: in the heart of my mother the Church I will be love….like that I will be everything…and so my dream will be fulfilled.” That is my dream, too. The Church has never done anything but support that, encourage that, and help to make that possible.
Anyway, the next morning after receiving the would-be Episcopal minister's note, I received this one from reader/cradle Catholic Melanie Statom. In a letter to a "pagan friend," she responds beautifully, and way more fully than I did, to what I gather was somewhat the same question:
The five chord drawn home to the one chord...
Letter to a Pagan Beloved...12/24/05
Dear J,
There are probably few questions you might ask of me in regards the Church that I have not already wrestled with myself. Luckily I have had exceptional people in my life who have allowed me to deeply question. I do not mind your questions. The Church and its checkered history has sadly become an obstacle to faith for many…crusades, inquisitions, scandalous popes, devaluation of the feminine to name a few of its grave trespasses. Its dark side cannot be ignored.
I have been rooted in Catholic tradition. Some of the ways the faith was handed down, interpreted and absorbed by me have been highly problematic. But here is the paradox: I have managed to experience a light in this church so perplexing to you…a light that somehow continues to beam through so much distorting murky darkness and has brought a depth of spirit, love and profound guidance to my life…a light that continues to illuminate and expose the very darkness of things crying out for change, whether it be within myself or troubled institutions.
What faith I do possess is in that “Rose” of Dante’s which we have spoken about, persistently drawing him throughout his journey. For me, anytime, anywhere, in any religion or circumstance of life, when self-donating love manifests, this “Rose” is made present, real tangible. An encounter with it is always salvific and transforming. If this be “Christ” and if he is truly universal “catholic” for the whole world, then surely, given the grave harm religion has often brought to the world, the experience of this “Rose” cannot be limited and confined to religious institutions.
“ Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.” (Where charity and love are, God is there.) This is the foundational root of the faith mystery within me. I do not have to be argued into the reality of its existence. I have had glimpses of its beauty, been awakened by its exquisite fragrance, been allowed to touch it, even if only in moments...transforming moments of encounter from the ordinary to the sublime. It seems that truly great artists, poets and musicians gift us common folk with incarnational expressions, creations, birthed from their encounters with this transforming mystery.
And if this is the essential reality drawing humanity, the whole cosmos, despite all the darkness, towards transfiguration…a new heaven and a new earth, back home to the Source, (the five chord wanting to go“home” to the one chord) then the Christian faith I do seem to have supports this view of things…a reality both transcendent and immanent, beyond us yet intimately present within us as well…a union of masculine and feminine energy…a communion of love exerting its gravitational pull on we earthly pilgrims, seeded in the earth, yet destined for a flowering we can scarcely imagine.
…just some thoughts…questions are good…
Gorgeous, right? Thank you, Melanie S. I am continually astonished by the sort of continuous conversation that is taking place all over, little snatches of which seem to cross my desk at exactly the "right' moment...
Next up: thoughts re "the great gift of confession."
Also I am just so not the person to come to to complain about the Church (which is amazing as I will complain about just about everything else). That's not to say I don't see the Church's failings but it is to say I have never viewed its treatment of women as one of them, particularly. I had lived by my own lights for way too long to see the Church, when I finally washed up on her shores, as anything other than a sanctuary, the Way, the Truth, the Life, my Mother. I don't see and if I do see don't much care about her faults. I see that she formed the saints. I respond to the Church through the hearts that have been formed by it.
St. Thérèse of Lisieux observed: “I have found my vocation at last: in the heart of my mother the Church I will be love….like that I will be everything…and so my dream will be fulfilled.” That is my dream, too. The Church has never done anything but support that, encourage that, and help to make that possible.
Anyway, the next morning after receiving the would-be Episcopal minister's note, I received this one from reader/cradle Catholic Melanie Statom. In a letter to a "pagan friend," she responds beautifully, and way more fully than I did, to what I gather was somewhat the same question:
The five chord drawn home to the one chord...
Letter to a Pagan Beloved...12/24/05
Dear J,
There are probably few questions you might ask of me in regards the Church that I have not already wrestled with myself. Luckily I have had exceptional people in my life who have allowed me to deeply question. I do not mind your questions. The Church and its checkered history has sadly become an obstacle to faith for many…crusades, inquisitions, scandalous popes, devaluation of the feminine to name a few of its grave trespasses. Its dark side cannot be ignored.
I have been rooted in Catholic tradition. Some of the ways the faith was handed down, interpreted and absorbed by me have been highly problematic. But here is the paradox: I have managed to experience a light in this church so perplexing to you…a light that somehow continues to beam through so much distorting murky darkness and has brought a depth of spirit, love and profound guidance to my life…a light that continues to illuminate and expose the very darkness of things crying out for change, whether it be within myself or troubled institutions.
What faith I do possess is in that “Rose” of Dante’s which we have spoken about, persistently drawing him throughout his journey. For me, anytime, anywhere, in any religion or circumstance of life, when self-donating love manifests, this “Rose” is made present, real tangible. An encounter with it is always salvific and transforming. If this be “Christ” and if he is truly universal “catholic” for the whole world, then surely, given the grave harm religion has often brought to the world, the experience of this “Rose” cannot be limited and confined to religious institutions.
“ Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.” (Where charity and love are, God is there.) This is the foundational root of the faith mystery within me. I do not have to be argued into the reality of its existence. I have had glimpses of its beauty, been awakened by its exquisite fragrance, been allowed to touch it, even if only in moments...transforming moments of encounter from the ordinary to the sublime. It seems that truly great artists, poets and musicians gift us common folk with incarnational expressions, creations, birthed from their encounters with this transforming mystery.
And if this is the essential reality drawing humanity, the whole cosmos, despite all the darkness, towards transfiguration…a new heaven and a new earth, back home to the Source, (the five chord wanting to go“home” to the one chord) then the Christian faith I do seem to have supports this view of things…a reality both transcendent and immanent, beyond us yet intimately present within us as well…a union of masculine and feminine energy…a communion of love exerting its gravitational pull on we earthly pilgrims, seeded in the earth, yet destined for a flowering we can scarcely imagine.
…just some thoughts…questions are good…
Gorgeous, right? Thank you, Melanie S. I am continually astonished by the sort of continuous conversation that is taking place all over, little snatches of which seem to cross my desk at exactly the "right' moment...
Next up: thoughts re "the great gift of confession."
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| VERMEER GIRL READING A LETTER AT AN OPEN WINDOW, 1657-59 |
this is spot on Heather, thanks. I am wrestling with some friends on the issue of loyalty and love in the funny Church. It helps me.
ReplyDeleteIt took me a while after my conversion to realize that it is not the pope, the hierarchy, good ones or bad ones, that carries the Church. Rather, it's its saints. It seems to me that what the Church, the world really, needs right now, is saints.
ReplyDelete